I’m writing this at 35 weeks pregnant whilst I’m awake at silly o’clock in the morning due to pregnancy insomnia, restless legs and anxiety of baby number 2’s arrival and the impact that it might have on Mason. If you’ve had baby no.2 or expecting your second keep reading… you might be able to relate to what I jabber on about!
My sidekick
My little Mase… honestly, where do I start! From the moment we found out we were expecting, to our first scan, then finding out the gender and to welcoming him into our world he has been just that… our world!
I never returned to work after having Mason so he’s been my little sidekick until he started nursery which is only three half days a week so he’s still my little bestie. Taking up all my time, energy and patience… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Mase just recently turned three… all his life he’s been number one! And he’s the first grandchild on both sides too so saying that he’s spoilt is a massive understatement. I don’t just mean with materialistic things either, I mean with attention, love, time and energy, it’s all been focused on him.
Baby no.2
Mason was just under 2 and half when we fell pregnant with baby no.2. He’s been quite accepting of the news of a little brother and often reminds me how big and fat my belly now is. (Always good to hear) 😆
A good thing is that lots of his little friends have recently welcomed younger siblings so he’s very much aware of what a baby is and that it’s his little brother.
I’ve hated the third trimester and mobility issues this time round. Not being able to play with Mason properly or clamber into a soft play. Even picking him up sometimes is a struggle not to mention shower and bedtime. I think he’s starting to not necessarily reject me or stop asking but maybe accepted that mummy can’t do much at the moment. This for me breaks my heart as I desperately want to and have done so up until just recently. He only wants his Daddy! Because Daddy can do all the things that mummy can’t right now.
Unprepared
I’m 35 weeks and at this point with Mason the nursery was decorated, all clothes washed, hospital bags packed. Fully prepared. This time round it’s a different story. We’re more relaxed, about to move villas in a few months and to be honest just so busy with Mason that baby no.2 has taken a back seat.
With Mason I was constantly checking the baby app to see which which size fruit he was the same as, and of course we chose a name early on. This time round the baby still hasn’t got a name and I have to check the app to see what week I am not the size of fruit! Mason was born at 37 weeks so I do really need to get prepared and start to wash and pack everything!
Welcoming baby no.2 – the plan!
Soooo here’s my plan… I don’t know if it’s right or wrong?
When the baby does arrive my focus will be on Mason as opposed to the baby. The baby will sleep most the day etc. The real transition will be for Mase. Becoming a big brother and allowing another child to be in his house and held by his parents etc. Apparently it’s like your husband coming home with a second wife. How would you feel? I wouldn’t be happy that’s for sure!
I’ve bought Mase gifts from the baby. And Mason has also bought the baby gifts for when he arrives.
Another mum gave me some sound advice. She said her consultant suggested this to her and it’s highly recommended.
When your first born meets the new arrival at the hospital have your husband/family member/whoever is bringing him in to call you before they arrive. Put your newborn down in their bed. He/she will be fine asleep for a minute. Go and greet your first born, give them a big cuddle, say I’m still your mummy. Would you like to meet your baby brother/sister?
Take them in but have your first born up on the bed with you. Don’t pick the baby up unless the first born wants to cuddle the baby. Focus on the first born to ensure no rejection.
After this first meeting slowly get him used to you attending to the baby too. But always making sure he’s priority. When daddy comes home from work… attention and first hellos need to be on the first born not the baby. The baby won’t know apparently?!
All the emotions
It’s getting me emotional just writing this. I’m so worried about how Mase will adjust! I really hope he’s going to be ok. But then on the flip side I feel that baby no.2 also needs the attention too. I guess this is the ongoing battle of stretching yourself being a mum of two (or more)! My heart is already so full! It will be maxed out when baby no.2 arrives. Unconditional love is like no other but I’m scared about one of them feeling somewhat rejected or second best! That would break my heart.
Help!!
If you’ve got any tips on how to deal with welcoming baby no.2 and sharing your love please let me know. I’m so worried about Mason adjusting and also sharing my time and love between them both. I obviously want to bond with the baby but don’t want Mase to feel rejected and kind of think the new baby won’t know? Will he?! Or will he and then not bond with me…?! Hellllp. Please leave a comment in the leave a reply box below with any words of wisdom.
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Just some reassurance…you will be just fine. It’s hard and a little sad to realize your only won’t be your only anymore, but there is more than enough love to go around. Try not to have too high of expectations- for yourself, for Mason or for the baby. Take things as they come. Post-partum hormones will make everything feel more intense, so just live in each moment. I feel line if you have too much of a plan and it doesn’t work out, you’ll be really hard on yourself. You don’t know if baby number 2 will be a good eater or what his schedule will be like, so I would just promise yourself to spend a few quality minutes with Mason each day and do more if possible. He might be closer to dad for a bit, but it will be good for their relationship too. It will all work out, it always does. And you’ll love seeing your boys love each other. Good luck!
Thanks so much. I’m hopefully he will be fine and everything will just slit into place. Thanks for your kind words of wisdom xxxx